pre and post Brighton Pride brainwaves

What a Pride this was! My little Kiez turned into little Kreuzberg with people dancing to techno on the streets and beer was sold in front of off licenses. Just a few more gimps on the street, but all in all a new Brighton-Berlin similarity that I can tell of when people ask me why I moved from Berlin to Brighton (people will never stop asking). 


Ok, after 12am it’s hard to find a place outside to party. Brighton is still a city in the UK. The country that screams "last round" at 11.30pm in a pub and forces you to binge drink, because you don’t want the night to be over, so you get more drunk in a very short time, so that it feels like a heavy night out. Even though it wasn’t. It was just binge drinking. But you get the idea.

While I was downing my drinks in my Kiez Kemp Town on a pre-Pride day (Friday to be more exact) and listening to 90s music that was played in the pub, my boyfriend and I had an argument whether Aaliyah or Lisa „Left Eye“ Lopez was killed in a plane accident. (It was Aaliyah, Left Eye was killed in a car accident.) We then had a serious discussion about dance pop music (yes, you can have serious discussions about that). Somehow we ended up talking about Robbie Williams's rap attempts. Back home (at 12am, oh England), I refused to go to bed at that time (Berlin mindset) and listened to „Rudebox“ on Youtube. It was mindblowing. The lyrics! Goddammit. They. Are. Beyond. Shit. Shall I introduce you to my Friday night discovery? Let's look at some lines:

Do the rudebox, Shake your rudebox [x4] - (Ok, got it. Go on.)

Ok then back to basics grab your shell toes and your fat laces - (Sorry, threw all that away after my 17th birthday.)

A little hand clap for some funk faces and make your body move in the following places - (Tell me where these places are!)

Goes up your back and then down your spine and when it hits your head: - (Hey, didn’t you want to tell me more about these places?)

Ok then back to baseheads dance like you just won at the special Olympics - (Hang on, where does this discrimination come from?)

I got the rudebox of the back of a spaceship, so sick I just had to take it
The R.U.D.E.B.O.X. up yer jacksy, split yer kecks sing a song of semtex, - (Oh, sexy slick talk.)
Pocket full of durex body full of mandrex. - (Sounds a bit unhealthy. Doesn't mandrex affect your...you know.)
Are we gonna have sex (yes) will you wear your knee socks (ohh) back to the rudebox. - (No.)

Got this double fantasy where we just never stop, - (DOUBLE fantasy? What's that?)
I've got one design and that's to funk you to the top. - (I think he means sex.)
Know whats on my mind there's only one thing you will find, - (At least he's honest.)
I got one design and that's to bump you til you drop - (Oh my God, it’s Robin Thicke!)

(bla bla bla)

Ok then back to spaceship, take both pills fuck the matrix - (The film or the maths thing?)
Jack those jills shake your Playtex rock 3 stripes not the asics - (Why?)
A.D.I.D.A.S old school cos it's the best - (Don't care.)
TK Maxx cost less yes - (True. But a bit off-topic.)
Jackson looks a mess (bless) - (BLESS!)


(Bla bla bla)

I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border - (Which border? The border of the places where I should move my body?)
Cos the sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter. - (It IS Robin Thicke.)
I did it like this - you did it like that - I love it when you double clap clap - (Ha! Or to pretend. Ha!)

(Bla bla bla)

Ok then check the tan line, make your body shape like you're stood on a landmine - (What? In fear of death and motionless?)
Call me on my mobile not the landline and the jack the mainline at the same time - (Wait, do landlines still exist? He certainly is into deep gangster rap.)
Ok this is what we do, got a jam so fresh its nice for you - (Homemade?)
Ok give it what you got and dial 808 for the bass to drop - (Called it. Bass didn't drop. LIER!)
Ok then whats the fracas grab your cardy your lead hat and your bus pass - (I'm to cool for the bus.)
You don't sweat much for a fat lass grab your rudebox cos your box is righteous - (I'M FAT?!)

(Bla bla bla) 

See? This is bad songwriting. Still want to know about these places, though. I’m off to a post-Pride drink now.