How to do a German accent

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„You may want to do this because you’re in a play or want to impress your friends“ 

Yes, these are convincing reasons to do a German accent whilst speaking English. I, for example, do that all the time. But I have to work on that because people keep on asking me where I come from when I’m speaking English.

This wonderful video helps you and me to really speak like ze Germans. These “voice coach” videos cheer me up in times of life crisis. Times where I think that the mole on my arm is getting darker or I can’t find humus at the supermarket. Then I watch videos how to put on a Russian accent or an Irish one. And when I don’t know where I come from, where I am and where I’ll go, I get really crazy and learn an Australian accent and say flat white instead of cappuccino. I know, insane.

But it is important that you learn every single accent with Gareth. He’s an actor and voice coach. So he probably cures children from lisping and has a performing arts degree. Life never comes as you expected it, baby.

“Vhy is ze voice like vine?”

I don’t know why the voice is like wine. To be honest, I even don’t know what this sentence should mean. But it is grammatically correct, so fuck semantics. We don’t have to say what we mean and don’t need to mean what we say.

“Sank you so much for sis”

As also very often featured in “Sank u for travelling wiz Deutsche Bahn. Gutt Bye.” Did you notice Gareth’s change of his speech melody? The acting course is showing through. I, for example, prefer method acting and buy myself a bottle of red wine and ask the cashier why the voice is like wine. I never get an answer for that. They probably think that it’s a rhetorical question. After the brief slightly awkward (but not too much, it’s still a German environment) pause of conversation at the cashier, I sank zem for selling me the vine.

Everybody knows that alcohol improves your foreign language skills. The same applies for accent skills. Afterwards I really “need zeze big bedz”.

“It’s a bit of a stereotype”

No offence taken, Gareth. I’m deeply serious and correct.

Gut Nightt.