Got some Begrüßungsgeld?

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Here I am now. Back in snowy then rainy, rainy then snowy Berlin. It does feel like coming home, but I came back even more a marginal man than I was before.

It may be a Berlin/North German thing, but people here are so rude. Incredibly impolite. On my second day back I went swimming at a leisure centre. When I and another woman wanted to enter the pool, the pool attendant said that we have to swim in the inner lanes because there are courses in the outer ones. I just said “ok”. What else could I say? I have not become English enough to say thank you. But the woman next to me said what proper Berliners say to advice by authorities: “We can see that on our own!” I’m sure she also said that on the 9^th November 1989 when the Wall came down and someone told her excitedly passing her on the street that the wall is gone: “I can see that myself! Go get your Begrüßungsgeld!”

Yes, it’s a harsh world in East Berlin leisure centres. The woman also spoke for me. Which annoyed me. But I have become English enough to avoid an argument.

I have been moaning a bit about London’s public transport. But now the Berlin transport confuses me. I don’t get off at the right stops anymore. I leave the tram too late and go in the wrong direction. Plus, I’m even confused by the houses my friends live in. Every house looks the same. And no-one lives in prefabricated buildings. It is me. I got lost. My mind is confused. It’s the lack of crumpets with salted butter, I guess.

I also miss crazy women on the bus. On my last bus ride in London, there was an old woman with a perfect witch nose and wearing an Eastern European-type shawl on her head. I’m sure she had just jumped out of a fairytale. She was singing songs that sounded a bit Jewish, but the language was not Hebrew or Yiddish. It sounded more like a made up children’s language. Maybe it was Welsh. There was a crescendo in every chorus she sang and ended in yelling, which sounded a bit like Native American whooping. I enjoyed it very much.

My last bus ride was odd. But perfect in its weirdness. It was a London salute. Just for me.