How to be anybody

I recently read a blog article by an English guy who lives in Germany and wrote a ‘guide’ on how to become a proper German (http://venturevillage.eu/how-to-be-german-part-1). Some things really annoyed me, such as the suggestion that wearing house shoes is very German. You don’t wear house shoes in Britain, because there’s carpet everywhere (even in airports) and no pretty hardwood floors. Although you should wear house shoes, because the houses are badly insulated.

I totally agree that Germans wear functional clothing (Jack Wolfskin stuff). And when you are old and married, you and your partner wear the same model.

I can understand that some things in new countries get more attention there as in the home country. It is sometimes good to go back and see the similarity of countries. Like finding out that meat is also a very common part of meals where you grow up. Funny enough that a lot vegetarians that I know always say that their home country is best for vegetarians. Probably not American vegetarians. But I don’t know any American vegetarians, maybe they don’t exist there. Or a meatless diet is called there the “low carb veggie lifestyle”. Anyway, I had a big piece of roast beef as my Sunday Roast treat yesterday (but the gravy was too thin).

These “How to be” articles are mostly rubbish. They use stereotypes that are sometimes right, sometimes wrong but never achieve truthfulness, because you cannot generalise a man, a woman or a country in this case (I’m quite sure that this Brit does not live in Berlin or Hamburg, or anywhere else above the Weißwurst-border, which is right behind Kassel).

I never use stereotypes. Only for Americans. Maybe I should change the nation to Liechtenstein. I have never met anyone from there, you don’t hear anything from there and I am frankly questioning the existence of that country. So who would be bothered?

Let’s think of steps “How to be from Liechtenstein”. I can’t think of any characteristics of that country except for: be rich (mixing that up with Luxembourg?), be small (country is small, and so are you because of lack of space) and have a shiny smile (try to say “Liechtenstein” without smiling).

And suddenly the face of Berlusconi pops up. Liechtenstein must be near Italy right? Doesn’t matter anyway. All the same.