Yes, this is a provocative title. And I know that you were thrilled by the trailer I posted two weeks ago. So here it is. True story. The horror scenario of families of the 21st century.
It is a hot day. 38 degrees on Corfu, Greece. The only possibility to cool down is by jumping into the sea. Yes, you could stay in your hotel room with air-conditioning. But hey, this is not America. Greece is in Europe (and still part of the EU). Air-conditioning is for losers. Enjoy nature!
This nature-loving and romantic thinking of a day at the beach is the reason I found myself at the same beach spot as this German family. Mother, father, son. Let’s call them the Michels. It’s their first day of the holiday. Careful steps on the sand. Checking the water. “The water is much clearer than in our sea” and “But colder!”. As these major differences between German sea spots and Ioanian sea spots were screamed out to everyone at the beach, the father joins mother Michel and son Michel to relax under the parasol.
Instead of talking, everybody takes out their e-book readers. Fair enough. At holiday you are supposed to do what you want. You can talk to your family back in Germany. Every reader was – in wise foresight – in a plastic case to protect it from billions of evil grains of sand.
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| Art in crisis. On the plate in the back it reads "odyssey". |
As time goes by, the son gets bored of reading and gets suddenly excited about being at the beach and throws himself on his father’s belly. This unpredictable interruption of being a relaxed tourist on a family holiday, caused by a member of his family, got him mad. Not only that the child is behaving like a child, the son also broke the e-book. The father initially claimed that it’s the son’s fault. The son, not sure why his father got so angry, says that it was an accident and apologises. Father Michel doesn’t want to forgive him and says: “These things always happen by accident! First everything is nice and then something bad happens!”. It is said that this grown-up learns this rule of life so late. “190 Euros are gone!”. Yes, gone due to the love of a child towards his father. Probably son Michel will never hug his father again. It can cost him 190 Euros. Then he continues: “This has turned the whole! holiday! into a catastrophe!!” I have to use so many exclamation marks because Germans talk! in! exclamation! marks!
It’s a horrible situation. I can’t hide behind a book any more and am interested in what happens next. I’m just staring at the Michels. The mother too, because she is just looking as if these two people under her parasol were strangers that decided to make a scene there. The father is obviously the bad guy in the family. Frustrated with his working life. Probably underfucked. All the anticipation of a holiday, far away from everyday life, gone. And as bad guys do, they blame the weak. And the mother sits and does nothing (reminds me a bit of our Living German family)
To emphasise his rude behaviour, father Michel has a very heavy Bavarian accent. But as he tells his son that he turned the whole (!) holiday (!) into a catastrophe (!), the situation reminds me of the movie “Sightseers”.
The couple in the movie were quite like the same. (“You ruined the holidays”) only with a Birmingham accent. And they killed some people. But still.
I wish the mother and son killed the father, because he went on lamenting that he didn’t want to talk about the incident anymore. But I think they didn’t.
The family left the spot right after the incident, because you can’t enjoy the beach without an e-book. And also, it was around six. Dinner time.
Yes, Germans can also be in a crisis. In a country, where people earn 190 Euros a month and living costs are higher as in Germany. But still, the 190 Euro e-book reader is gone. Forever.
